[bobby]

Thank you for that warm welcome. However, I joined this forum May 17, 2016. Consequently, my ‘welcome’ is almost three years late. Nevertheless, I am glad the welcome has finally come, as I have been sitting here at my laptop in my boxer shorts since May 2016 patiently waiting for acceptance into the forum. Since that time, and my few posts, I have read a ton of great posts on this forum.

Responses to my query seem to be conditional. (“Asking the questions you are, you may want to introduce yourself and your interests.”) Okay, I didn’t think my question had national security implications and I have never been good at my elevator pitch, but sure, I can do this, here goes (big inhale, focus, now long exhale):

Well, okay, let’s see, about me. I’ve spent some time at Chino State. Not the University. The Penitentiary. Oh, the first few years, it was definitely difficult to adjust. Fortunately, my cell mate, Frank, was a world-class tattoo artist. I was amazed at just how many tattoos could fit on my arms and back. With time, I began to design my own tattoos. I learned to enjoy the look of “King of the Hill” inked in large-font Old-English lettering across my chest. I must admit that I had to bellicosely prove my ownership of that decree many times while on break in the yard.

Now that I’m out of the Big House (and I ain’t talkin’ the University of Michigan football stadium), I thought I’d get back to what I know and love: The illicit reassignment of private property. I thought that the easiest way to accomplish this would be to join an online forum and simply ask for someone to mail me their car keys and address. But, those guys over at the Corvair forum are smarter than I thought, whether or not they have read Unsafe at Any Speed, and I achieved no success with them.

So, foiled by those Corvair guys, I tried the Citation X-11 forum (gotta love the High Output emblem on the hood bulge), the Chevette forum, the Geo Metro forum, the Pontiac T1000 forum, and others. To no avail.

Then, I stumbled upon this forum. I had no idea what the heck these Corvette cars were because they had all these silly numbers and hyphens and letters derived from the Latin alphabet: ZR-1, ZR-12, ZR-32, DR-1, P8Y001, EX5999, et cetera. I like dabbling in the Latin language and I like Latina women, but I was never that good at math and numbers and my head was spinning. I thought, gee, how can I scam someone out of their silly-numbered vehicle? It then hit me…ask for a nearly unreadable copy of the factory build sheet! Further, I keenly decided that a vehicle which has likely been crushed for decades would be the perfect target!

The truth?

Member of NCRS (since 1983) and NCM. Owner of multiple Corvettes. Law degree.

Well, shucks, I hope I passed my background check.